Yala yala Im in love.

I had never dream about the same girl over and over again. Now I prefer sleeping so I'll have a chance to gamble to dream of her again. Every time I woke up and realize I dreamt about her, I smile. Although I've never had a dream comes true. This sweet feeling fulfills me .

I Dont Want To See You Sad,Joe?

I don’t want to see you sad no more.
You are kind of depress
For now I will cheer you up
I want to make you feel special like you never did before
It is so sad when I see you sad
That’s why I don’t want to see you sad
Even when you are depress you are even worst
Be happy for once
I am here
Pack all your troubles in a suitcase and put it in the locker and don’t think of it
You can fix it another time if you need to but happiness is all you need right now
I understand what you are going through
It will never happen
Beside it is a fools game
Lay your head on my shoulders
No matter what,i'll be here for you:)

*YLL*

KUALA SELANGOR!

l'lian here!well,joe i'm lazy to write so yeaa..pics will do kk?=D





























*yll*

.......

I LOVE HO YAO JOE!!
I'm his friend,not gf..so yeaahhh stop asking=D

fri,sat,SUNDAY!!

°.°

I need to spend more time with my books than computer.

LAZY BUM!!

omgosshh u seriously damn lazy lorr..post la a bitt!!
no wonder name yrself'YAO JOE SUKA TIDURR'
soon u'll b a pigg!!
nvmm..
well,4 days to go..
heeeeeeeee..
soon gonna meet!!
SOON!
SOON!!
SOON!!!
I LOVE YOU!
*YLL*

=/

Joe,sorry for not blogging yesterday..my connection have some fcking shit problem..so yeaa..6 days to go..




NONONO!!5 DAYS TO GO=)




LILIAN FCKINGGG MISS YOU!!




*my bestiee!!*
*YLL*

Seven Days to go..

Joe,i cant wait any longer just to see you..i'll b counting untill the day i get to see..i'm missing you..=)

How to court girls..

Be confident, listen, and care. Women hate wimps and they're tired of dumb, arrogant men who just want sex and don't care about them. Just prove you're different!!
Are you diff ho yao joe??LOL!

*yll*

Dunguuu!!

HOR!!!MY DARLING HUI SHAN SICK EDY YET U'RE STILL SMILING HORR!!SO CALLED FRIEND!!**
lol



*YLL*

I'm feeling HAPPY!=D

I need a friend most true who will help me in the times due.I need a friend who will stand by me always and support me when i am through down days.
YOU!HO YAO JOE,friend in front of whom,i can think aloud and to be my best friend that i could feel proud.I need a friend like you joe,like stars in the sky to make my life beautiful and always be diamond of my eye.U're someone special,who will always listen to me,keeps my secrets closed and never let them free. U're a friend who will listen and understand what i say,who will help with my problems and never go away.Most of all..u're a friend to believe and trust when rest convey my fakes..
U're my old long friend and most important,u're someone i can confide with..



Your burst of laughter,an exploding waterfall,u're the one bring me happiness...
The feeling of happiness that comes to me..=D
*YLL*

Yao Joe..

Joe,u're the reason why i smile again=)
*YLL*

lilian..

Joe,lend me yr blog just for once.I wanna confess..i'm not okayy=/

Rip my heart out, burn it and cast it away. Tear the pain that I feel out forever, as I sit in this empty shell. Is that all I am? Do these thoughts really belong in this body? To this girl? To this soul?me?

Swim in my emotions and lose your mind, your heart and your soul. Lost without purpose and not wanting to go on. Swim in my pool of sickness, the fluid creeping along everything I touch, blighting everything and nothing. Leaving me alone, where I am.

Let me fade away

I keep thinking. Thinking like I always do, and always wishing. I really can't get these thoughts from my mind. My sorrow, my complaints. I'm so stupid as to keep dreaming, wishing, hoping for such things. These things are not meant for a sixteen year old.
My thoughts flood to Ben. He's always there for me, He always will be, no matter if we're separated and not speaking to each other. I hear his advice echo in my mind, change myself, be outgoing, make friends and smile always.=)

I can't
It's not who I am, how I am. I want to but I'm stuck sitting on the sidelines, wishing and hoping, dreaming and fantasizing, crying and lying. I see relationships peppered all around me, almost taunting me, showing me what I can't have. Some goddess keeping me to herself or not, it hurts, it tears me apart. I want to fall down and cry, scream at the heavens and demand the one I seek.

Why?

I feel sick inside. I've always felt like that since I tried to take my life once before. I figured it was a sign, you didn't slice your arms deep enough, you'll live, you'll go on. We'll drug you up with medication so you can be numb like the others. The others like you. I call myself a thinker but what do I think about?


Pain
Sorrow
Death
Anger
Destruction
Loneliness
Tears
Love

I shouldn't feel this way. I shouldn't have such feelings, apparently that's what it's like for me to have such emotions. Am I emo? What? I'm sick of this, I'm sick of reality, of dreams, of past hopes and future hopes, of love that should be love, emotions that I want to be love but aren't. Rescue me, cut me open, destroy me.

Its an overflow now, it's tearing me in two.
Every thought drifts to the surface like a bubbling cauldron, it's overturned, though. The contents spill to every corner of my mind, making me unable to think, unable to dream, unable to wish and unable to hope. But able to cry. More than once today I had tears burn my eyes, have to blink them back because my mind was wandering to pleasant dreams. Before when I felt lost in this world, that I wanted to go to sleep and never wake up, that I would join the blackness that was in my heart.

I'm not filled with darkness anymore. I just feel grey. Plain. Empty.

But here I am. Emotionally unstable. Unable to think of anything else but the loneliness that makes me unable to breath. It'll die down. It'll simmer and set, make me feel like I'm normal again, until I explode once more. I'm not going to slice and dice myself like I did when I was a stupid little kid. I feel like I don't belong, though. Like someone plucked a passing soul in the sea of Heaven and stuck it in a 16 year old's body. But the sickening thought is I've always felt this way. Always felt alone.

I'm really afraid. Getting close to people, getting attached to them, being hurt by them. I once told a guy I didn't care about the consequences. That I'd do anything for him. That I love him. I wished more than anything that that boy would look past my appearance, my darkness that shrouds my soul and see my heart and what I crave. I wished more than anything that he'd hold me in his arms, hold me close and tell me I'd never be without him because he loves me. He loves who I am. He loves my soul. He wants to be one with my soul, my heart, my spirit, whatever you want to call it. I once told a guy that, hoping for that reaction, hoping more than ever for that reaction. He didn't like who I was, maybe. He didn't like how I looked, maybe. He didn't like the colour of my soul, maybe. I told another guy those words. He was a mirror of the first. My heart sunk deeper within my chest, not wanting to come out and reveal itself. It wanted to be cold and alone.

Cassidy says any guy should be dying to have someone like me to care for them, that thinks the way I do, that feels things the way I do. That cheerish things the way I do. I can't see any reality in it. I can't. I try, and trying makes my eyes burn again. I want that guy of my dreams to walk up to me and hug me, hold me close and whisper in my mind that he loves me, that he'll always be with me. That the colours of our souls match.



I think too much. It's always been my downfall. I'll over analyze, I'll start to doubt, and question my own thoughts. Maybe I'm just like a shaken bottle of soda, being shaken too much, the cap ready to burst but the plastic holds it down. What's holding me down? I can't say, really. Hope? Maybe. Dreams?

I tried to open up to Joe. And its my fault things were the way they were. I didn't care about him enough, I didn't love him like I should've. I didn't, and couldn't, hold him every night and tell him that I care for him, that he is my shining star of hope in my life. I "loved" Joe. I told him so everyday. He told me he loved me. Did we? I really don't know. He's a part of me now. He always will be. Am I still growing? I hope so. I measure growth by learning. Not school learning. School is my prison, where I'm sent away and tortured until my eyes bleed from all the tears I've cried. I've always felt this way inside, I can't shake these feelings.

I cling to the ones closest to me. The ones I care about, the ones I love. I wish I could shield myself in white wings, cut myself off from them, be alone like he wants me to be. Maybe then I wouldn't hurt them. Maybe then I wouldn't get hurt by them. That hurt caused by my own feelings. Let me fly away on wings, let me search for my Love in the skies, the heavens above everything. Let me dance with the clouds with the stars like jeweled rings around my fingers. Let me breathe the air of hope into my lungs, and power me onwards towards the future. I don't know why I feel this way. Let my tears litter the skies above and absorb the sorrow from others. Let them not feel the way I do. Why I feel sick inside. Why I feel this hopelessness surrounding me with every action I take. When I'm only a sixteen year old girl. I feel so lost. Like I don't belong in this world.

Tell me to shut up. Tell me to stop feeling this way. Tell me to be normal.

Normal.

Tell me to stop dreaming. Tell me to stop loving. Tell me to not be the person who I am. Tell me not to grow.

Tell my soul to stop breathing.
I'm sixteen and my mind and heart are sick with these thoughts.

There's something wrong with me. (:

Superman

He owned you THIS MUCH.
This is duck btw;

oWh boyyy,,

Gosh,i'm out of idea what to post now.
kindaa lazy but still i wanna post out something new=)
cant think of any for now..gosh brain brain brain..
and yeah i called him just now,and he's fcking not at home!*ITS ALREADY 12.45 AND YET HE'S NOT AT HOME!*KAKI MALAM!
OR MAYB *KAKI PEREMPUAN*?
both la i think..?ahahhaa i'm lame joe.
Joe i fcking no mood now,but you fcking having fun outside there with yr friends.
DITCHER!!I cant wait to see you again HO YAO JOE.but still,i'll wait.=)
well,i think its enough for today's post?
*alah my duck fcking dont care what i post 1 laa gosshh=.=*toodless*
*YLL*

I love you DUCK=D

Well,this lazy duck here suka TIDURR!!sooo,i'm gonna help him update his blogg**
since i LOVE him soo darn MUCH.yeahh i doo=)
hmm joe,joe,i fcking miss you..
i feel like telling the world how much i love you..
dear dunngguu,*joe*
I want to lay down on your shoulder,just inside your arm
I want to listen to your heartbeat,and your breathing on and on
I want to lay down on your shoulder,surrender to the peace
.....
.......
........
.........
AND GO TO SLEEP!!=D
sayang you banyak banyakk!!
*YLL*

LILIAN WAS HERE!

i'm lame today.so yeah decided to help joe post something real lame since i'm bored nw.

A mouse and a lion walk were in a bar, drinking a few beers when a
giraffe walked in.
"Get a load of her" said the mouse, "what a babe!" "Well, why not try
your luck?" replied
the lion. So the mouse went over to the giraffe and started talking to
her. Within five
minutes they're out the door and into the night. The next day, the
lion was drinking in the
bar, when the mouse staggered in. The mouse is completely worn out,
and can hardly hold
himself up. The lion helped his pal up on to a stool, poured a drink
down his throat and
said, "What the hell happened to you? I saw you leave with the
giraffe, what happened
after that? Was she all right?"
The mouse replied, "Yeah, she was really something, we went out to
dinner, had a couple
of glasses of wine, and she invited me back to her place to spend the
night. And oh, man!
I've never had a night like it!" "But how come you look like you're so
exhausted?" asked
the lion. "Well" said the mouse, "between the kissing and the
screwing, I must have run a
thousand miles!"

Why do I constantly dreaming about her whenever I close my eyes.

gOd ?

Mat yeh hai san ?
San dou hai yan,
Dan hai san chou dou yan chou ng dou geh,
Sor yi hei hai san.

What is god ?
God also a human,
But god able to do something that human can't do,
That's why it's god.



Watch till the end. You'll go o.o

GUEST BLOGGER KIM WISH MY DEAREST DIKKK

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! =D

LOVELY, hehe!

Deathnote ? Liar game ?

I’m suppose most of you people have the knowledge about death note basically death note is a Japanese Drama series created by writer Tsugumi Ohba and illustrator Takeshi Obata and few years recently they had their very own Death Note Movie 1 , 2 and of course the very recent “L change the world” Everyone whom watched this movie will automatically know L aka Lawliet the Genius Detective. I’m not trying to do advertising on the movie but comparison it is.

Recently I’m hooked up with this Japanese Drama called “Liar Game” Mostly Japanese will have their very own movie or series from an overrated and popular manga, so does Game Liar is a Japanese Drama series originally written and illustrated by Shinobu Kaitani. As most of you people know what deathnote all about I’ll skip the introduction for deathnote and jump to Game Liar I’m sure all of you didn’t even know there’s such series drama exist I shall make a simple plot for this movie

“Nao Kanzaki, an honest college student, receives 100 million yen one day, along with a card saying that she has been chosen to participate in the "Liar Game". In order to win the game, she must trick other players into giving her their 100 million yen while her opponents are left in debt.The objective of the first round is to steal the 100 million yen that is issued to her opponent, Kazuo Fujisawa, a former teacher of hers, who easily deceives her. Before the round ends, she comes across Shinichi Akiyama, a genius swindler who has a sad background story, helps her to succeed winning the first round. However, after the first round, a second round of Liar Game awaits them.The second round of the Liar Game is taken place in a mansion. The 22 players who won the first round are given a jewel worth 100 million yen each as "Game Money" as they compete in a game. The 22 players vote either "Yes" or "No" when asked a random question. The minority of the result survives and the majority leaves with a debt, 100 million yen. The final person gets the 2,100 million yen, 2,200 million yen minus his or her 100 million yen, as the prize. Akiyama has entered and then win the game and decided to split the prize money so that Nao and the people they have teamed up with could pay their debt. Akiyama then decides to proceed to the next round without "Dropping Out".

The similar of these two movie and series are the genius in the movie everyone know L is a genius detective and in the series Liar Game Akiyama the main attraction from this movie also known as genius swindler. Both of them shows how something unexpected became reality. Both of them have the mysterious genius look you rate it.

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L, Lawliet(Ken'ichi Matsuyama)
Genius Detective
He was once said "No matter how gifted you are you'll never able to change the world alone"
He did it

VS

Shinichi Akiyama(Shota Matsuda)
Genius Swindler
Quote “ Being able to lie flawlessly, it’s a talent”
He has it.

Interested ?

www.mysoju.com

Saturday usually it’s the night where I’m outside sitting down at the mamak teasing the ahneh there holding a stick of mild seven and blowing water and laughing our asses off with lame jokes due to the fucking weather conditions, emo daddy and tomorrow 7.30am undang shit I’m stuck in the house. Wasted another Saturday, ended searching for stupid videos on youtube to kill some time. Now I present Uncle Same and Uncle Chin two dumbnut of the century And and uber style imba canon combination with beatbox, break dancing and some culture instrument.

SSSB ` super sexy stylish ... baldy ._.

Some say you cut I tiok, some say you cut it'll be end of the world, some even say if I cut they'll cut with me. Yes without any doubt I sit down on the chair faced the mirror which reflect my beautiful hair and the sound of demolish came through my ear I close my eye and there you go.

TADA
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SSSB`

I miss my hair :(

Farewell my friend :)

Today went go midvally after school meeting up with Si-iok, Mei Teng, Boon May and Justyne for a quick last movie as Siok and Teng are leaving to ns tomorrow. As I rushed to midvally I called Siok once I reach there with public phone

Siok: who are you ?
Joe : yao joe la diu
Siok: where are you why you use house phone one ?!
Joe : public phone la diu where are you guys?
Siok: niamachouhai
Siok: niamachouhai we’re in cine… doo*doo*doo*

Expected la harr, taking my sweet time walking there once I reach at the cinema they ran towards the stewards as the movie starts at 2 and I reached there around 2.30. The movie’s fucking funny but quite lame suits us. We were laughing so hard, after that we went kim gary for lunch jade joined with us, the girls cam whore abit after that siok went for a really quick shop for some shampoo wanted to get long pants as we’re running out of time she didn’t get to buy. When we’re going apart siok, teng and boon may started hug each other and I started to stone lah as usual suddenly tears rolling down from them they started to shed few tears although I’m not close to them but I can feel the fucking feeling of being apart from your closest friends. Here’s some pictures today and I’ll upload few pictures taken from last Saturday in Genting.

Mei Teng, Boon May,Siok Yean
Boleh buat apa the only guy there.
2 ns goers good luck and take care.
Genting group1
Genting group2

k800i 007 limited edition.

This is Yao Joe here, so sad man today. Do you know what the hell happen? I was in school when my phone and wallet is in my bag which fucking located to a place where it isn’t suppose to be when I’m playing my favourite sport, basketball. Suddenly fucking instinct of mine came out of no where about my phone and wallet then I say to myself so sad man, I ran to my bag and check my phone and wallet and guess what ? Expected perish lah my phone and wallet. I ran here and there thinking if I know who the fuck took my phone I’ll chop of your egg roll and burn it bitch. In the end return home without a single penny and phone. I hate you

Speaking of Heart? Do you even have one ?

Today we, Liang Wei, Kenneth and myself planned to have a drink before we enters school which mean we want to skip the assembly. When its about time we walked back to our school with bunch of girls who’s going to play basketball for our school we walked back together as we know each other. While waiting for the assembly ends we sat outside our school hiding ourselves from the prefects and teachers. We talk and chilled awhile outside till we hear a puppy starts to scream from pain we saw an unwanted accident which broke almost everyone’s mood, if I’m not mistaken a Proton Saga ran over a puppy maybe this dog does not look as cute as Shih Tzu or as cool as Golden Retriever although it’s just a normal stray dog its still a life within it. After the dog got hit by that car he hurt his legs which made him can’t walk properly eventually he headed to the drain and fell inside, the drain its not a fucking small drain its filled with nasty rubbish and the malodorous scents of the water its just horrible. Unfortunately we need to rush back to school as it’s almost 9 that time. While in class mind shattered kept thinking what would happen to the dog. Till recess time we went down to the canteen get our drinks and I asked Liang Wei and Heng Yip whether want to go out have a look so we decide to walk out the school. And guess what we saw Zheng Hong a prefect sitting outside chatting with bunch of girls who so called wanted to help the ill-fated dog as we don’t really care much we walk towards the drain where the dog still got trapped inside the drain while we’re walking that Zheng Hong started to talk cock in front of us where he said what we’re doing here its non of your business want to skip class only, this is where got my head heated we’re quite pissed that time but the dog really need help we don’t care much and go towards the drain the dog looked so fucking suffering where he needs to lean his head to the semen inside the drain to keep him breathing. 5 of us wandering around the drain keep thinking what we should do to help the dog up from the drain. We tried using tyers sticks even I used my leg to bait the dog but all failed ended there’s this hole from my shoe made by the dog. Finally we used a cloth banners from the streets and bait him when he swim across the banner we quickly pulled him up and bring him to a safer place. We ran all over Sri Petaling tried to find a vet clinic, body started to sweat school uniform starts to soak with sweats when we got no more choice since all the vet clinic still not open yet Liang Wei called his mom to help us out. Once his mom reached without hesitation we quickly bring the dog in the car and rush to the nearest clinic finally there’s this owner of this pet shop who helped us all she can although she’s not a doctor she said all she can do is clean his body for us and feed him to regain his energy where everything settles down there’s another problem, who will be responsible for this dog? After this dog got treatment who will be taking care of this dog we can’t just leave this dog back on the street from the second we decide to save this dog we’re responsible for his everything. Whereas problems starts me, Liang Wei and Heng Yip keep thinking what should we do ? Where we got this plan after school we take the dog to Heng Yip’s house for one or two days then when the dog regain back all his energy able to walk and so on we’ll put him to a safer place let him to live in his own so this is the plan. Look at the time its almost 12 we ran back to school where I saw Zheng Hong which his classmate sitting at the staircase talking cock as I suppose, when I passed him I looked at him and called him useless then he talked back as I know he’s the one who suppose to call the fireman we waiting there for how long? 1 hour? All he know is sitting down under a windy weather and flirting with girls, seriously this fucking guy I know as a friend who don’t even have the fucking heart to do something properly if you’re fucking reading this I CALL YOU A FUCKING SORE LOSER come and punch me if you want I swear you wont able to play basketball for the rest of your life anymore. After that we ran back to our class where Mr Ghani just left we rest in the class as our arms are exhausted carrying that doggy around the area. As time pass school ends we skipped the last period and ran to the shop where the dog got his treatment FUCKINGUNFROTUNETLY the dog bites so the lady can’t do anything about it we got no choice but to leave there long who the dog to cool down first. Where the plan all got messed up. Heng Yip went home without the dog and we’re forced to bring the dog back to someone house as the lady said she can’t keep it for us. Till now the dog it’s suffering I suppose everyone suppose indeed we got no choice as Me and Liang Wei decide to make this a gamble to leave the dog at the shop for one more day hopefully the lady won’t throw the dog away then the next day we’re going to bring him to a safer place. Now everyone remember even it’s a stray dog it has life within it even a small actions you do up there knows. Pray the dog would go through this unfortunate incident.

Siblings

I never had a close relationship with my siblings past then we argue most of the day, we even fought each other, when that happens I’ll eventually lock myself inside the toilet and cry and start hitting the wall bare hand to express why they had to treat me this unfairly I even swore to god that I wont take them as my sisters. When time flies I’ve become more mature physically and mentally. Thinking back the past what I’ve been deliberation all the while was juvenile. These few years I’m really close to my sisters they helped me a lot in every single way they give me cash, stuff and abundance more. They’re the person who I can only talk with whenever I have troubles. Last year if I’m not mistaken my second sister leave to United Kingdom to continue her studies, this very moment another one leave for holiday. Although the eldest sister of mine is still here but I can barely see her. Its only 3 months till my sister’s back in this three month there wont be any driver for me, no cigarettes for me to steal and I got no one to share my cigarettes with although they prohibit me to smoke but they’re still cool with cause there’s another person at home can find whenever they run out of cigarettes. Hopefully within this three months there won’t be any bad incident happens to me. Oh and I pledge to stop smoking so everyone wish me luck.

Look what I found when I'm searching pictures of my sisters

HAHA I totally forgotten when i taken this.Dimsum with my siblings

ah sam, sai lou , me , ah tai and ah yee
HAHA FUCK ><
Few years back
There you go my 3 beautiful and gorgeous sisters